How often do you choose yourself?

What stops you from choosing yourself?

For many, GUILT is the culprit.

I call it the problem of “should’s or shouldn’ts”.  Stay with me for a moment…

Somewhere along the way you developed ideas about what life should look like and how you should function within its parameters. These ideas may have been shaped from watching your mom, your big brother, your teacher, or your favourite celebrity. Social media and the facade of seemingly perfect lives likely shapes some of these ideas as well.  #NotRealLife

Regardless of what shaped these ideas, when you have a nudging to choose yourself, how do you respond?

I really need a shower… but I should vacuum.

I really need go to for a run… but I should spend time with the kids.

I really need a night in… but I shouldn’t say no to this birthday party.

I really need a break… but I shouldn’t want a break from my own kids.

What is it you hear yourself saying when you get in touch with your needs?

So now, the pivotal question:  

How do we overcome guilt and choose ourselves?

Take the risk, and try these steps.  I think it will be worth it.

  • Give yourself permission

You are important. Your health is important. Guilt can stop us from taking this first simple step. You are allowed to have needs! The very nature of being human is to have needs. Give yourself permission to take care of those needs. You will find yourself better equipped to, in turn, care for those you love.

  • Have a plan

If you are having a hard time listening to your needs, set aside time on a regular basis for things that fuel you. Schedule a date night with yourself, take a bubble bath, read a book, or grab a drink with a friend. Figure out what refreshes you, and add these life-giving activities to your schedule.

  • Ask for help

Tell someone about your needs. Make a list of the people you can turn to; spouse, parent, friend, aunt, sibling etc. Tell them you need help, whether that be with babysitting, to spend time together, or to simply help you figure out where in your schedule you can begin to make room for yourself.

It can be really challenging to prioritize yourself, especially in the face of guilt. Processing these struggles with a professional can help. Reach out to us any time and our team of therapists would be happy to help you begin to choose yourself.  You are so worth it.

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