Confidence.  One of the most common topics I work with in my office.  In fact, regardless of the presenting issue that brings an individual to therapy, it is almost always part of the work.  We all want it.  But did you know that confidence is in fact critical to success?

What is Confidence?

Confidence is simply a way of thinking (perspective) that we have learned, developed and fostered over time and through experience.  It is not something that we are born with.

Managing our thoughts influences confidence, therefore, it is always possible to feel good about ourselves.  When we manage our thoughts, we can manage our emotions and can choose to feel confident, despite the choices of others.

 Confidence is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence.  A high IQ does not guarantee confidence.  Our country’s top leaders are often defined by qualities that indicate EQ rather than IQ.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is essentially being aware of your own feelings and those of others, regulating these feelings in yourself and using emotions that are appropriate to the situation, while building relationships.  EQ can be understood along 4 themes:

Self Awareness

Self Regulation

Social Awareness

Relationship Management

How is Confidence Connected to Success?

Confidence is a learned attitude that has a tremendous impact on us not only socially and emotionally, but also on our ability to be successful.   In the past we believed we needed only a high IQ to succeed.  Our landscape has changed, now we’ve learned that we need a high EQ to succeed.  Confidence is a leadership skill and part of ones’ EQ.

A high IQ no longer guarantees that you will rise above your competitors.  Research shows that 85% of your success is connected to your personality and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead (people skills).  Only 15 % of success is connected to technical knowledge.

Daniel Kahneman (Nobel Prize winning Psychologist), found that people would rather work with someone they like and trust, rather than someone they don’t.  With all of this in mind, I strongly encourage you to focus on a life skill that is indeed critical to success: Confidence.

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