Are you in a safe, secure and happy relationship and want a way out? Or maybe your relationship is on the rocks and you just want to make sure you and your partner NEVER find connection again? Here are the top 10 ways ensure complete marital distress for years to come.

  1. Attack, attack, attack!

A great way to push your partner away is to verbally attack their every move. The way they dress, the way they cook, the way they parent. Don’t leave anything out. The more you attack, they more they will avoid you.

  1. Disengage

Try to systematically disengage from anything that might create connection. Stop eating meals together, don’t sleep in the same bed, don’t share any interests and most importantly, DO NOT pay any attention to how your partner is feeling. Find other ways to spend your time, like blogs and facebook. The digital connection is much more predictable.

  1. Hide

When I say hide, I mean everything. Hide your thoughts, your feelings, your whereabouts, your dreams, your fears. EVERYTHING. Do not let your partner into your inner life in any way. Before you know it, you’ll be perfect strangers.

  1. Stonewall

When all else fails, just shut down. It’s an easy fix for any interaction. Quickly build a wall of ice cold emotion and refuse to let your partner affect you. Emotional disengagement through stonewalling is extremely effective in leaving your partner feeling abandoned and alone. Nice work.

  1. Complain

…about everything. Complain about how awful life is, how awful your partner is. In general, you want to give your partner the impression that life really stinks and that there is no way out of the stench. Doom and gloom is what you’re going for here.

  1. Look for Flaws

This one should be easy. Find every single last flaw that your partner has. Dwell on these flaws. Pay lots of attention to these flaws.   She/he may have a few good qualities, but make sure you ignore these completely. It’s the flaws that matter.

  1. Compare

You know that amazing coworker who always smells so delish? How about your friend’s husband/wife who can do no wrong? And your son’s teacher who is the most nurturing person you’ve ever met? Compare all of them to your partner. If you want to maximize this strategy, share all comparisons with your partner. They need to understand how much they don’t measure up.

  1. Refuse to Change

Why would you change? Your partner’s the problem. Don’t do a single thing to make this awful situation any better. Keep working all the strategies and remind yourself “I am perfect, just the way I am”. DO NOT get into that self-reflective crap. You just keep doing you. If you change, you may risk salvaging the relationship.

  1. Blame & Shame

Aaah, le piece de resistance. The blame and shame game. The BEST way to put the final nail in the coffin of ruining this relationship once and for all. Blaming your partner for all your woes is easy. The real powerhouse here is shame. This beauty will not only ruin your relationship, but it might even ruin your partner’s self worth. Go for it, shame the crap out of him/her using nasty language and hateful words.
10.  Find True Love
Now that you’ve successfully ruined your relationship, it’s time to move onto bigger and better. You’ve finally rid yourself of your partner, who was clearly the problem, it’s time to find true love. Remember, the grass IS always greener on the other side.

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